My Mind Speaks ...Money.

Everything has a price..
even price itself..

whenever i have some cash on me..
it comes with ultimate bad luck..

when this bad luck comes..
it makes me like shit..
it really feels like shit..
my whole mind is like a scrabble game now..
everything everywhere..
things that were in place..is now all over..

my mind and emotions' in such a big mess now..
what can i do...
everything's screwing up.
i just wish i could end it all sometimes..
i am not a coward..
but like i said..
i am just really tired of all these..
how many times must this happen?
how many dejavus must i have?
i've learnt my lesson..
but why is it happening again and again?

i wish to drift into a world of the medieval..
where simplicity is happiness..
now my passion is damaged by my own hands..
what the fuck is wrong with me?

i hate myself more and each day passes.
this hatred..
this hatred..
but where can i bring my tears to?

"a hero's life is only eternal if it ends in a battlefield."


i hate money..
i seriously do..

but i can't live without it..
i want a home.
i want to sleep.
i want to end..
i do not wish to think further..
yes..
call me a coward if you wish...
though a mind controls it all..
a heart can only take that much..
what the fuck is wrong with me?
what the fuck is wrong with me?

what is happiness?
what is the happiness that i desire now?
death i suppose?
yes no..
but maybe so..
just maybe..
but yet..
so many things undone..
i won't go peacefully..
i think i'm born to slave...
not for humans..
but for money and my life..
i cannot seek out a single drop of happiness out of it..
it's destined..
i cannot hide it..

My Mind Speaks... useless thoughts.

after some tide washed in on my island..
i manage to build my beautiful castle once again..




sometimes..
when someone is helping you but not supporting you...
can be quite depressing...






especially if it's one of the only family members you have left..

My Mind Speaks...Unsure.

i'm unsure of what i want..
i'm unsure of what you want..
i'm unsure of what they(inside me) want..

i'm unsure if i'm alive..
i'm unsure if i'm dead..
i'm unsure if i'm me..
i'm unsure if i still love you..

i'm unsure of how things will go..
i'm unsure of how things are now..
i'm unsure of how things flow..
i'm unsure of how things went..

i'm unsure if i will survive..
i'm unsure if i can survive..
i'm unsure if i want to survive..
i'm unsure if i did survived..


but i am sure that they are all living inside me..
squirming in pain..
screaming in vain..
i am feeling it again.
i'm feeling these lies again..
this reality that lies..
....release..
...end..
tired...

i just want to sleep..

My Mind Speaks.

"alone isn't a stranger to oneself anymore.
little did joey ever knew that alone was the best companion to be with since young.
ignorance filled to the brim of the little child..
society carved masks for this human face that wasn't meant to be.
Death smiles and tells this child..
"it's not your time yet...
when you've finally gathered your courage and do it instead of words flowing..
it will be the time where you've finally fulfilled your life and nothing is truly worth living for.."
Emotions slowly died as words of the wise steps into the ears of the ignorant.
as conversations fill the air around..
joey realises no one else lives in this world suddenly..
neither family nor friends are there anymore..
only joey and the one named alone."

"Run away Maya : Part 1".

"Run away.
Run away.
A virus eating your head.
Hangman.
Hangman.
Please come play.
Dead will you be today.
As Maya runs away."