My Mind Speaks ...Money.

Everything has a price..
even price itself..

whenever i have some cash on me..
it comes with ultimate bad luck..

when this bad luck comes..
it makes me like shit..
it really feels like shit..
my whole mind is like a scrabble game now..
everything everywhere..
things that were in place..is now all over..

my mind and emotions' in such a big mess now..
what can i do...
everything's screwing up.
i just wish i could end it all sometimes..
i am not a coward..
but like i said..
i am just really tired of all these..
how many times must this happen?
how many dejavus must i have?
i've learnt my lesson..
but why is it happening again and again?

i wish to drift into a world of the medieval..
where simplicity is happiness..
now my passion is damaged by my own hands..
what the fuck is wrong with me?

i hate myself more and each day passes.
this hatred..
this hatred..
but where can i bring my tears to?

"a hero's life is only eternal if it ends in a battlefield."


i hate money..
i seriously do..

but i can't live without it..
i want a home.
i want to sleep.
i want to end..
i do not wish to think further..
yes..
call me a coward if you wish...
though a mind controls it all..
a heart can only take that much..
what the fuck is wrong with me?
what the fuck is wrong with me?

what is happiness?
what is the happiness that i desire now?
death i suppose?
yes no..
but maybe so..
just maybe..
but yet..
so many things undone..
i won't go peacefully..
i think i'm born to slave...
not for humans..
but for money and my life..
i cannot seek out a single drop of happiness out of it..
it's destined..
i cannot hide it..