Fear

I'm so afraid now.I'm so afraid.
I will never dare.
For i've lost all my confidenc..
To give someone happiness.
To be with someone.
To see my loved one smile.
I lost it.
I lost myself entirely..
Decimated.


Happy 100th post CrimsonWolf.

Monday Blues

Darn.
First i had a bad weekend.
Second i ran out of cash.
Thirdly i couldn't sleep.
Fourthly my ear phones cranked up.

Geez.how much more can these blues carry on?

Hidden

Actions have the most evidence of everything.
When you know the situation isn't what they are.
You force yourself to believe likewise.
When everything isn't worth for them.
There's nothing you can do.
Action speaks for itself.
Explaination isn't everything.
Action is.
You show people different from what you explained.
It's ok.
Not meant to be is what you believe not what the situation is.
I know.
You just wanna be a coward fuck and just run.
No courage to face anything.
Just get fucked and enjoy.
And when probelms occur.
You run.
Humans are selfish.
And you're one of em.
You never have time for me.
You always have time for others.
You're gonna say i'm the same.
Cause you're always defending yourself.
If you haven't started this in the first place.
Would i guard on you so strongly?
Yeah it's me.
What else can you do best besides putting the blame on others?
It's ok.
It's my fault that i tried.
You keep saying you're tired.
You spared a thought for your friends.
A thought on how they would feel.
But not me.
Never me.
If you can't give in.
I wouldn't too.
You're just gonna run away like a coward in your whole life.
It's such a minor obstacle.
In future you're just gonna get fucked in the CAR and no commitments.
Why?
Cause you can't face stress.
I tried.
You stood on your believes.
I tried to run over it.
But you ran over me.
You said you've explained enough.
That's just a lie.
You just want to end things.
Love me?
My Foot though.
You said you do.
But you said you wanna leave.
When both parties still have feel.
I left her cause i had no feel.
But you still do.
So your feelings are just not strong enough to overcome things?
Just like what you said.
"Like i'm not worthy enough for you to get over some disorder."

I'm not WORTH for you to overcome things.


You can't make me hate someone.
You believed i hated you.
Remember when i said don't start with me?


You're the fool now.

The Contradictives.

Its really funny but sad.
The people closest to you never seem to understand.
Yet they tell you :"Oh i love you".
Love isn't meant to be said.
Its meant to be felt.
Its funny how they say you don't care.
They left you.
They drew a clear line between.
They still say i love you.
1 day right after your exsistance is extinguished from their lives.
They plan for a oversea trip.
and then again.
keep speaking as though they have no choice infront of you.
But yet they're planning well for the trip behind you.
now back to the point where they said you didn't care.
how are you suppose to care?
what can you do?
and how do you expect others to care and believe when you've done things
to make others disbelieve in you?
Self reflection my darling.
You don't know what you have done.
You just like to win.

tsk.

Sad to say.people like that do exsist.
its exactly how u tell this girl u love her.
But u NEED and HAVE to leave her.
Next day.
TA DA!
You have a new girlfriend.
How would you feel?

You have just proved every single of your words wrong.
i've no strength left.
Sad to say.
But you have won this battle.

Since my departure is such a good celebration.
Whatever for stay?
i never knew i was such a hinder to you.
Sorry.
=)
Have a good life.
Au Revoir.

SpiralFaLL

i realised after 3 years.
i haven't blogged about my band.
Anyways.
Thats my band with FireBurn,SpiralFaLL.
On for almost 3 years.
Playing different style of music.Although mostly Grunge.
Getting on well and movin.

Its been almost a week since things happened.
Time really flies and i have lost track of it.
Momentary presence i felt.
I'm stuck in this forever.
I can't move anymore.
Oh well.
What's life without pain no?
*Hysterical Laughter.
I just realised happiness doesn't last.
And i'd have shown the finger to commitment if it was a person.
Dwell within self-pity?
I think not.
Just an impact too strong.
Loser?
Perhaps.
Regret once filled in.
Regret has now filled in..
Again.

"Not gonna leave.
There's something in me.
That wants to believe this for so long.
You're not who you seem.
You're just someone like me.
And when you're here..
It's easy to Breathe."




You miss her don't you.
Yes..i really do.

Nice Song.

Tag..?

I'm back from M.I.A.
i had to draw a few art pieces for my portfolio and all.
anyways.
i'm back here today because i was tagged by Mylene.
I'm honoured too.

".....Tagged!This is what you are supposed to do. Cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game.Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog....."


1. My hairstyle's like a carrot-top.

( i did the undercut concept but just that all my hair's swept to my left instead of leavin it
down center parting like wrestlers.and i've to keep shaving off the sides as a follow-up.why
did i do it? i don't know.the weather was bad?)

2.I draw my darkest fear and horror with a pencil.yet i'm still afraid of the "Incredible Tales" ad.

(my profession with art is Dark.i can draw u your greatest fear on a piece of paper.other materials requires more time.i'll be posting up my art works soon.perverse evilness , eyes , eygptian , etc.etc.but back to my point.that ad still scares me.i don't get it either.you'll know what i mean when i have my works uploaded.)

3.I wear eyeliner(at appropriate times.)

(I don't know.i just love it)

4.My band , SpiralFall.

(I'm in a Grunge/Alt Rock band with 3 uni grads.2 of em are 5 years older than me.1 is exactly 10 years older.and i'm the only uneducated one inside.2 christians , 1 catholic and 1 atheist, me.despite the age , religious and culture gap.we've been together for almost 3 years.and we only meet up for sessions most of the time.we all have totally different music influences too.From U2 , Korn , Coldplay , Breaking Benjamin , Guns & Roses..etc to Me(Death metal , Jazz , psy-trance , blues , 80's rock , rave , Drum&Bass..etc.etc) I admit.Although I'm the shortest,youngest,horniest,stupidest,darkest member in ere' but we all get along pretty well with those differences mentioned.

5.i'm a guy.but then again.i love America's Next Top Model.

(don't they look fabulllllllous? but i hate nicole though.Nik should have won.darn.)

6.My tattoos.

(Dark art meets cartoon)


Well?
who should i tag..
i really don't know how to do this but..here goes..

1.Spinneee
2.FireBurn
3.Steven
4.Temptress
5.Skye
6.HB