The Me Whom I Am Not..

well the thought of leavin The Heaven is good..
and to think i left a special place for her in my heart..

she became psychotic all over again..

To L : "..i swear to god..
although mistakes and guilts that have been created..
BUT i still do not deserve what you have been doing to me
and what you did..
you have such an evil mouth...
you posted on forums bout our conversations...
not only that..you've constantly putting words into my mouth..
and you've been acting as though you're damn poor thing..
you called up and to say you're gonna "TELL" me something..
when actually you're giving me a fucked up attitude..
and to say i'm a dirt?..
ho ho ho...
i tell you..
if by doing what i have done..
and i'm dirt..

then by what you have done..
shouldn't you be called a shameless slut?
moreover..
i've tried to tolerate..
stop fucking threatening me you understand?
cause you do know..
but being in offensive mode at me..
you're just gonna die over and over again..
you got me?

so please..leave me the fuck alone..
i never want to have anything to do with you ever again..
your damn fucking words have tainted every single feeling i have..
no one i went together with said these kinda stuffs to me..
you think you're good..that's your prob..

you're nothing but a memory to me now..
get it?
all i have now inside me is SL..
will you please stop talking as though i'm still yours?
no one ever insulted me that bad enough for me to rant on my blog..
cause i always believe in other's privacy..
BUT YOU?!

you're a fucking nutcase i swear..
if you appeared in my dreams in the past..
i'd have hugged you..

but now..
if you appear in my dreams..
i'd fucking kill you over and over..
you get me?
This Merciless , Heartless and Tainted me..
is the same Me you created out..
how do you like it??
being treated so heartlessly??

limitations have thier limits..
THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED LIMITATIONS YOU DUMB FUCK!!!

no matter how flunked as a boyfriend i am..
i was never known to a failure at it..
but YOU..
you fucking called me a dirt..
degraded you..
HELLO FOR GOD'S SAKE..
YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE CLASS OF HIGH!!
DON'T GO THINKING YOU'RE SOME HIGH CLASS BITCH..
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT!!!
even the road sweeper aunt has more class than you..
AT LEAST SHE DON'T BRAG ABOUT SOMETHING HUMILIATING..

come on..just go to your DICKY boy..
maybe your mind's too simple and childish..
you need younger guys..
i'm too complicated for you..
you understand?
THIS IS THE ME YOU'VE CREATED YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!
THE ME WHOM I NEVER WANTED TO BE
THANKS TO YOU..
I AM LIKE THIS!!!
u need more brainless people around you..

in that way you will feel more smart..

tsk..

first..you were telling me..how much you love me..

next..you told me what a degrading dirt i am..

puhleeeease...

in that case...you have degraded yourself..
you agreed to be my girlfriend in the past..
no force
only your willingness..
and my stupidity

i can't stand any of this contradiction from you anymore..
i didn't not ask you to do alot of things..
but yet you volunteered to do it..
and now you're fuckin blaming me and accusing me of using you?!
how sweet...

the sweetest girl ever alive..


THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND THE FUCKING SHIT YOU LEFT ME INTO YOU FUCKING CHILDISH DIRT..

ENOUGH...

i shall rest..
people are reading..

most of them know who you are..
and definitely..
they know me..

i should give u some face..
if i were to rant all the way..
won't i be as shameless as you?.."