My Mouth Speaks Saturdays..

Sigh..i don't know why..every saturday's a bad day for me..i feel really crappy on saturdays...feelin inferior..feelin lousy basically..no motivation to do anything at all...smoking myself to death..bah..feeling the regrets..i miss my mommy i don't know why all of a sudden..maybe i haven't seen her for sometime..i feel like being the little kid i used to be..i miss my childhood days..where mommy was always beside you when you cry looking for her..bah...a little voice of myself screaming somewhere in me..wanting to be out..feel like crying..but..can't..its too hard..i miss suelin..the only regret was to leave her..=\ ...but whats gone should be gone right?..i don't know..currently in my mind now..i'm just going ARGgGgGGGggGG!!!!*Rips off hair* i'm such a stupid person..bah...i went out today..hoping to feel better..but bah~~no difference..i still feel crappy inside...every month i get this feeling..i know what you are thinking..pms right? no lo..i don't know la..i'm rather lost and screwed now..hey~! no vulgarities..i'm surprised...i miss my doggy..i miss grandma..i hope she's fine up there...argg...i shouldn't be born..i'm a waste..a pollution,corruption to this society...people get pissed with other people..but i get pissed with myself..=\ bleah..
By the way..
Blueapple:i left a comment in yr blog...i don't know if i landed at the right place..but i remembered i left a comment...